Undressing the American Male by Eva Margolies is a book written for women about men who have sexual problems and how they can help them. It is a very readable book because it is written for the laywoman. Eva obviously has years of experience and has worked hard to get into the mind and values of men, which she does with such effect you can see how they so easily opened up to her. I can only hope that women without an immediate need to help a partner would read this book for it’s wisdom on the male perspective.
Sexual problems are extremely isolating for men because of all the complicated implications for their perceived manhood. Those men who do manage to see their treatment through turn out to have gained a more secure manhood through being vulnerable and weak and yet having survived. They often make more considerate partners from the accounts of the women who have helped them through to the other side.
She covers all the major sexual problems, giving many examples not only of clients but also the personality types that often go with the specific problems. She also explains the psychological hurdles that men in particular have to overcome to face up to their issues. I was struck by how similar many of the causal factors were, such as being out of touch with what was going on in the body; a specific orgasm feedback loop linked to specific behaviour; overly aroused by mental images/thoughts that were out of touch with the sexual activity.
The common thread of many exercises was to slow things down, by pausing and breathing, and get back in touch with the body. Many of these exercises would also bring benefits to lovers who hadn’t a ‘problem’ as such, simply by getting them more in touch with themselves and more in tune with each other.
I would recommend this book to promote a knowledgeable and empathic point of view on menkind. For those whose male partners are reluctant to seek help this is a good read as it sets out what can be done to help, as well as the kind of symptoms that indicate the need for professional help.
[amazon template=iframe image1]